Golden Hours .... the best things in life are free

Salut les gars 

I think the future is this week. I might smoke a joint in the coming days..... (referring to a few blogs back) while wearing my Havaiana flip-flops…  I don't know yet how or with whom, but I sure do know I’ll puff, puff, pass it to the next one. Might go to a dub party too? Not this week, but sometime in the future. Watch me.

Anyway, that being said, I’m insanely grateful for the weather… it’s truly blessing us. Thank you! Life feels so much easier, lighter, and kinder when the sun is shining on our pretty faces ... like nothing really matters anymore (in a good way). 

Last week, I was craving a good cry. You know, like in those yearning movies? Lol. Where a man longs for a woman .... very melodramatic Notebook type . So, I started watching Love, Rosie… but it really didn’t do the job. Sure, maybe two or three tears rolled down my cheeks, but I really had to try hard. It’s not a great movie, but somehow, this kind of love story made me think (just a litte ... not a lot ...) 

It can be super frustrating ... so much time passes, you get your heart broken or you're the heartbreaker, a long path of intense emotions just to end up with the one you truly love and knew all this time. It’s beautiful that, deep down, you “know” you belong with someone and that eventually, you’ll find your way (back) to them. Like Rosie (emily in Paris)  and (idk, I forgot his name) knew that they would end up together, but it wasn't just their time yet. On the other side: they are super annoying... like gosh just be honest with eachother. but then again their friendship plays a big part in this complicated "do I say I want to be with her/him" and does he/she wants to be with me" insecurity.  

Do you think dating apps change our perception of love? I mean I just wonder... it's not really about love right? 

... idk... enough of this 

I don’t know if it’s just me or the French alcohol, but omg. In Brussels, I never really had blackouts or drank "too much", but wow. A couple of weekends ago, I couldn’t even remember my walk home from the function. And this weekend? My dumbass walked right past my apartment building… I was so confused. (Though, tbh, this could also happen sober.) 20 mins earlier,  Jorgen and I saw some lonely delivery bags lying on the counter of the BurgerKing, we tried to get them but eventually the guy working there just gave it to us. Like two rats on the street, we ate the cardboard burgers while sitting on the sidewalk of Bd de Magenta. I handed out some burgers to people walking by, turning a drunk goblin moment into a wholesome act of generosity.... 

I think it’s because I’m mostly with the lads ... actually, I’m always with the guys ... and I have to keep up with them… which means I’m drinking way more than I’m used to... 

so note to my future self: Doucement, Sam 

Also I'm going to try to take a break from the socials, I need to read 

A tout ;) might do a petite visite soon ;) 

waking up like this = priceless 

visited memorylane: bring back TCBE

I recently found the password to my spam account again.... So, yesterday, after one pint too many, I came home and started scrolling through all my old posts. Suddenly, it was 1:30 AM, and I had been giggling alone in my bed for an hour straight, (or more) with only the light from my phone screen shining on my face.... amazing! 

I'm pretty sure I've lost 1/2 of my braincells in 2021/2022 ... most of it at Avenue Louis Bertrand and rue Dansaert... maybe a couple at Saint Marie too ... pretty unhinged period during/after covid but #noragrettes 

I went down memory lane. After listening to Topcashboys at the studio yesterday I started looking through my camera roll for photos and videos of the performances. 

You guys, please... bring back TCBE! .... I want to be a SoundCloud rapper muse again..... BBJ, make another song about me! Dede, drop another summer hit.... or better yet, be the summer hit! Jorgen and Shona, I need to see C’mon everybody, move your feet on stage again..... Gapi... cmon... you were born for this... fr.!!!  TimTurner, bring back your melancholic self,.... I know you're still kapot van de pijn baby.....  Puss99 and TaylorBeatzzz, I'm sure you have some unused beats lying around somewhere...... or make new ones x....  I can do the adlibs .... 

Dede ft Jorgen. Hatiku

BBJ Trooper

BBJ ft GP! ft SHLR, Peggler --> this is art 

The last couple of days I feel like I'm filled with LOVe more than ever ... and I don't know what to do with it. I guess I'm just really happy? I hope you are too. 

bizz xxx

ene uit den ouwe doos 

eat ... sleep ... ... ? repeat

Coucou 

I really need to get back on my grind. I've been working from home, and let's be honest... I can't get anything done here. I think I could win the "Who's the Most Easily Distracted?" contest. (Factors include: a noise, a thought, the outside world, food, more thoughts, my bed, the mirror, ...).

So let me explain my ideal working conditions.

(Depends on what I’m working on.)

First, there has to be sound (obv): music, tv, people talking (this one is tricky). Sometimes loud, intense music works best, but calm music can also do it. Next, there has to be some movement around me, like in a café or public space. At first, I didn’t like people being able to see my screen, but now? Idc. The ultimate combo: noise-canceling AirPods + music + things happening around me = next-level concentration.

What else... oh, this one is tricky too. But when I really need to go to the toilet or when I have exactly 5 minutes before leaving... it's do or die, all or nothing. And when it works? I’m a genius for those 5 minutes.

I have this weird... idk what to call it, but I never know how to act when I run into people that I don't really know, but follow me on social media, and vice versa. Like it has happened a couple of times that people like or comment on my stories and posts (again who I only know through a screen), and then, when I see them in real life... .... what do you even do? You can’t really introduce yourself because, obviously, they already know your name. But at the same time, it feels weird and kind of arrogant to just ignore the real-life version of that person, you know? ...... maybe next time I should say : .............??? 

Also, even though I could sleep for days, I still have the party jitters... idk what to do about it? We all know how Paris parties are…..................  and I can’t keep going back to Brussels every two weeks. But I feel like really can’t miss this one (ofc I can). Pretty - stupid - expensive to move to another city while having 'severe fomo' 

Anyways,,, I'm so tired, but also so excited to just... live... lol. 

Gros Bisous <3 

My kids

pretty fucking amazing eyebrows

Dear Sisters from another mister and Brothers from another mother (except for Tim, my blood, same mother and mister) 

Woke up and went to the terrace to look at the Sacré-Cœur... Life can be so simple.

First, I have a really, really, really important question! So, I think carrots are becoming the new apples for me. I eat maybe two apples a day, and I love eating them on the go. It’s easy, no stains, quick, mysterious, and you look kinda smart. But now... my question: Is it weird to eat a carrot on the go? Does it give the same effect as eating an apple? ... Obviously not ... I mean, it’s kinda weird, right? Eating a carrot while walking around or at my desk? I love carrots.

I really need your opinion here.... I'm not kidding actually, It's a genuine question.

So please think about it and lmk ! 

Anyway, having eczema flare-ups every month is not easy.... it actually fucking sucks. It hurts like hell, and I look like a sick person. But I’m slowly learning to just accept it and live with it............ 

This whole weakening of my body and figuring out what I react to and what is safe for me has had me looking in the mirror a lot. And you know what? I have pretty fucking amazing eyebrows. I love them, perfect shape and color! I don’t get why I bleached them for so many years. Like,..... what was I trying to prove? That I can look pretty without brows? ...... weird move..... I really do miss my eyebrow piercing... been thinking about it a lot. My scar is fully healed... so maybe, maybe…

And for some reason, my lashes keep growing and growing. And my breasts too (I don’t like this so much, but ok). I think it’s because of my "new" "diet" .... animals..... yeah, I’ve been eating animals every day for the past 2–3 months after being "a vegetarian" for almost seven years… crazy..... No gluten, no dairy, no artificial/added sugar, no tomato. But of course, I’m only human, and a girl in her twenties who just moved to Paris and loves to eat a Bánh Mì sometimes. And yes... I suffer the consequences of eating that delicious white-floured fusion... It's not always worth it 

I've been thinking of buying those wooden lympen drainage tools set ... but everytime I look it up it's giving me 50 shades of grey but than in a bare foot, sticking your head in the dubsoundsystem kind of way? you know ... but it's not even like that, pfff wow I need some sleep (and maybe some help too) but look it up and you'll get me...  

Enjoy your Sunday
Bisous de Paris x  
Sap 

Tiny spoon 

 

A written Hug

Hello my sweet and beautiful friends, 

This is a difficult one. 

I started writing a couple of times but just couldn’t find the right words. This blog is supposed to be silly, light-hearted, an easy read, something fun to look back at when I’m older. But because my writing is based on my daily life and the things happening around me, I found it difficult this time to put my thoughts into words.

But instead of ignoring it completely, I decided to focus on the positive and the little sweet things I felt and saw the past couple of days, in this weird period of time.

Two weeks ago (after many of you visited Paris), I felt lonely for the first time in a while, even a little scared and anxious . It was that kind of feeling where you don’t just miss the people you love, but also the version of yourself that exists around them. A feeling of emptiness and laziness.  

A saw a TikTok of a girl talking about missing a loved one .... blablabla. (I really need to delete this toxic app again… but I'm, a victim of needing to watch 7-second videos while watching something else.) I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who saw it but this tiktokgirl said that. Missing someone is really just craving the best parts of yourself. You wouldn’t have attracted that person in the first place if you weren’t already reflecting what they bring out in you. So remember, that person didn’t make you feel loved, they were reflecting the love that already exists within you. You met yourself in another, and that is the essence of the human experience.

Now, I know this doesn't apply to every kind of 'missing,' and it's still a tiktok ... but it's one beautiful way of looking at it. That aching, missing, and craving feeling that are actually pulling you away from the present moment can also be super beautiful

Anyways, I had dinner with my lovely girlfriends yesterday and omg they are so amazing, literally... The most beautiful, kind-hearted, funny people are MY best friends. We had dinner and played a game called 'Skullking.' I love this game, everyone should play it.... like for real.... learn how to play it! So while playing, I had this feeling of being little me again, a playful weird child that just did and said what popped into her head and didn't care about being judged or misunderstood

I'm not saying this feeling is rare, but it actually is tho. I feel like we're constantly aware of saying the 'right' words, doing the 'right' things, which is obviously needed, but having those little moments where you feel safe and don’t care, knowing you can make (big) mistakes and still be loved unconditionally, are priceless. It’s so refreshing to pause and appreciate those moments, to remember how lucky you actually are. It feels like a reboot for my overthinking mind.

Idk guys, I just feel blessed with the people around me, I guess. Zoё commented on a video I posted about us being silly, I think she said: "We are so fun." And we actually are, like, amazingly fun. I would be jealous if I wasn't in this friend group. 

Like, for real...................

Ok wow I'm really in my feelings... this is it for today. 

Take care + big virtual warm hug <3  

Sharing goodluck with you 

Suns out ........... out

It’s lunettes de soleil weather!!! I Love. I can’t wait to wear my Havaianas flip-flops. When the temperature hits 20°C, the guns are out. I don’t know what Paris will think of me walking around with my toes out and about... well... I don’t care... I think.

Today, I walked to work and back without checking maps! For me, that’s an accomplishment ( had to turn around twice tho) because I’m so bad with orientation, and I’m always daydreaming... When I’m walking with noise-canceling headphones, I’m not really in the present, which is actually very dangerous. I think I’ve seen my life flash before my eyes a couple of times already, especially with those crazy bike paths at Gare du Nord.... 

Anyways, on my way home (a few minutes ago), I saw a lady walking her petit Chihuahua with only 3 legs... She was looking so proud at her tiny mini creature... But guys... let me tell you, this animal was not enjoying it. I don’t even think you need to take out a Chihuahua, let alone one with one leg missing ... Poor thing.

Last weekend was trop cute, I had a lot of fun (walking, talking, concert, gallery, etc.). Saturday morning, I took a bath and went to the Marché couvert Saint-Quentin (farmers' market) in front of my apartment. It supposed to be super cute, fresh, and fuuun, but last Saturday I really had to play Pac-Man with the crackhead people walking down the aisles and attacking other people. After dodging them, I bought a disgusting overpriced healthy kale/celery juice called 'Shrek' . It was amazing omg. --- did you know there is a Shrek 5 coming ? with zendaya 

What else... 

Oh yesterday I thought: I might smoke a joint in the coming days... future... really weird... nobody will ever expect me to say this but I ehm did... and... I probably will. 

Shrek 

walk home